Of Roses and Hats
by the mischievous pixie
Summary: Iracebeth knew she was doomed, but she wanted to make a backup plan for the Crims legacy and bloodline. MH/AK, OC/?Has all characters from the Burton-verse movie. Chapter 2 up!
1. Chapter 1: Prologue

Of Roses and Hats

**A/N: for those of you who subscribed to my old stories (many of which I deleted) this will be slightly different, not only do I intend to finish this, but it's been 5 or 6 years since I've written a story so hopefully my writing's gotten better.**

**No I don't own the AiW characters, I'm using Burton-verse, and I just own the OC's.**

**I had a time scale of Overland vs. Underland, (using physics and shit) but I got myself confused so here's a summary of the time scale: while they are waiting for someone from Overland, the time in Overland speeds up at random until said person is ready to come to Underland. **

_Prologue:_

After reading the events that the Oraculum had foretold, Iracebeth was understandably concerned. She knew that her precious Jabberwocky was very powerful, but she had to face the odds: unless Alice was found and stopped, Iracebeth was sure to lose everything and everyone under her dominion.

"Think Iracebeth, think! You need another plan," she said to herself as she paced around her bedchamber. She walked to the balcony and gazed at her kingdom. Hearing noises and laughter, she looked down at the gardens. Amongst the roses, she saw the children of her nobles playing some odd form of chasing game. Iracebeth remembered playing games of that sort with her bloody sister and various children of her parents' nobles. Everyone always hated playing with her though, whenever she started to lose she would yell 'Off with your head!' and the others would just leave her. Then an idea struck her, "I need an heir!"

Marching through the castle, she barged into the chamber where she was holding the Mad Hatter.

"Tarrant!"

"Yes your grandiose highness?"

"I need you to make a fashionable hat for a noble; it must be able to adjust itself in size according to the wearer."

"But what kind of wearer? Fat, tall, skinny, small—"

"No rhymes! Just make a hat that is a…'fedora' I believe was what you called it. I want it black, silver, and of course red and finished by tonight or it's off with your head."

"Why of course!"

"And have Um help you; don't want you getting any madder just yet." Iracebeth quickly left him to his work while he muttered something about mice and bedposts. "Bloody mad man," she muttered to herself. When she reached the chamber of her head alchemist, he threw open the door and improperly embraced her in a hug.

"Oh Iracebeth! It's been too long!"

"Put me down or I'll have your head!"

"Forgive me," he said as he put her back down, "you see I've just been perfecting a happiness plant. When you pluck the leaves off of it and smoke them through any variety of pipes, you begin to feel so light and high and free…" he lost his train of thought as his gaze started wandering towards the ceiling.

"Honikular," Iracebeth snapped her fingers "focus!"

"Right, so sorry, what do you need from me today?"

"I need to create an heir."

"What?" Honikular looked at Iracebeth feeling quite confused. "But you faked my death and let me practice my powers and alchemy down here because I _couldn't_ give you an heir."

"No not like that, I mean through the Hortibirth spell."

"Hah! Look whose biological clock finally started ticking!" Demitri, Honikular's assistant, sat up laughing (plant joke).

"No it's not that," Iracebeth said, "I just need a way to secure the Crims legacy and bloodline should my Jabberwocky be defeated by that pesky little blonde Alice. Yes Alice has returned, no I don't know where she is, and no I don't wish to talk about it!" Demitri, who had looked like he was about to start asking questions, shut his mouth and plucked more leaves off the happiness plant.

"Ah I see," Honikular said, "then we must get started right away! Demitri, go check the supply closet and go buy anything we are out of. Also please go pick up some wine for our dinner tonight; I'm thinking a nice red one of course." He turned to Iracebeth, "Now, I just need some of your hair and blood as well as some of that from the male you wish to use as the father."

"Oh I was hoping you'd be so kind as to volunteer yours, that way I don't have to give an order that might result in your real death."

"Fair enough, just give us five hours and then return."

Iracebeth spent the five hours holding court and doing her daily ritual of beheadings, croquet, watching her 'fat boys' entertain her, and general horridness. When she returned to Honikular's chamber with the completed hat from Tarrant, she saw Demitri levitating a glittering red rose.

"Ah my queen," Demitri said, "welcome back! As you can see, your heir is ready."

"What?!?! A bloody overgrown rose? I wanted a child not a flower! Off with your—"

"Wait wait wait!" Honikular rushed over to explain, "Your child is _in_ the rose, remember?" Iracebeth just stared at them blankly, obviously not understanding. "The spell locks the child in a flower until the time is right for him or her to be born. Then, when said time is right, the flower opens and the child is born. Remember that's how Demitri came along?"

"Except I was a cute little lily."

"Well, then where do we put the rose?" Iracebeth asked.

"Should Mirana get the crown back, no doubt her supporters will want to destroy everything of yours," Honikular said. "I suggest hiding the flower somewhere in Over world far from the place where Alice fell from."

"But then how will my child find its' way here?" Iracebeth asked, seeming genuinely concerned for once.

"Under land will call to the child when it is time. Is there anything you wish to include with the rose before we send it away?" Iracebeth remained silent and handed A the hat Tarrant had made, as well as an envelope that seemed to have no opening. Honikular floated them over to the rose, and with a flash of their wands, A and Demitri made the items become engulfed in a cloud of red smoke. When the smoke faded, the items were gone.

"Airfare my child," Iracebeth said quietly and left to go deal with Ilosovic; she was hoping what she had heard about him and Um was not true.

_1989 – USA_

Lily and John were walking home from dinner after celebrating John's promotion at work. As they strolled through the city gardens, Lily grabbed onto her husband's arm.

"John, I'm so proud of you. I know how hard Kramer and Matthews have been working you over at the office."

"Yes Lily, now all that's missing from our lives is a child."

"I agree, a little girl would certainly bring even more joy in our lives."

"Not as much as a little boy would." John replied back teasingly. As they walked by the rose bushes, they heard a strange rustling in the bushes.

Lily grabbed john's arm tighter, "What was that?"

"It sounded like a wounded animal, maybe a cat, I'll go check." Lily let go of John and he went into the rose bushes. He looked down and saw a black basket surrounded by rose petals. "Lily! Come over here and look at this!" When she got to him, he opened the basket, "Oh my God." Inside the basket were a colorful fedora, an envelope, and a baby.

"Who do you think left their child here?" lily asked, reaching in to take out the baby.

"I don't know, but we should go to the police."

"John," lily started to ask, "If no one claims this baby, why don't we adopt her?"

"How do you know it's a girl?"

"I checked."

John paused to think, "If no one claims her, then we'll adopt her. But next time we find a baby in a bush it better be a boy."


	2. Chapter 2: Time to Try

**Chapter 2: Time to Try  
Disclaimer: Don't own**

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_2010 – USA  
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it had been 21 years since Lily and John found that baby girl in the bushes, and while they had passed on they continued to watch their daughter from the spirit world. Samantha had grown up into a nice young woman. She didn't make many waves at the office where she worked, her mouth and temper tended to get her into trouble so she usually tried to shut up. Samantha knew that she was adopted, but not the strange circumstances under which she was found. Even when her parents died from the swine flu last year, they never told her.  
"Hey slut!" Samantha's office friend Jamie came up to her cubicle, "bunch of us are heading to Karma tonight, celebrating Ken's finally leaving, you in?"  
"Yeah, what time are we going?"  
"The party bus can come get you at 11, does that work for you?"  
"Sure, and no one makes fun of my hat this time, ok?"  
Jamie laughed.  
"I'm serious skank, don't diss the hat." Samantha playfully hit her.  
"Okay okay, no one will diss the hat I promise."

_Underland – 25 years after Iracebeth's defeat_

Although Iracebeth and Stayne were still banished, Mirana allowed them to be unchained as long as they remained in the Outlands. Of course they had a couple spies in the White Queen's court, just to make sure they were still aware of what was going on. According to their spies: Alice had returned to start a family with Tarrant, Mirana still had no suitor, Iracebeth's head alchemist was offered a job in Mirana's court, yet other than that things remained the same. Iracebeth constantly thought about her daughter Samantha, Honikular was nice enough to give her a small mirror that allowed her to watch her daughter grow up. While she was not a maternal person by any means, part of Iracebeth's heart broke as she watched these Overworlders raise her child. Stayne returned from hunting to find her crying by the fireplace of their shanty cabin. He still didn't like her, but he did feel an obligation to protect her.  
"Iracebeth, what's the matter?" he sat down next to her.  
"Oh Ilosovic, I just am feeling envious. Part of me wishes I could be raising my daughter myself, but then I look at the woman she's become and then I don't know whether to be happy or not. I may be a mean and heartless person, but she is still my flesh and blood."  
"My lady, you did what you needed to do so she would survive. However if it helps any, there may be reason for her to return to Underland."  
Iracebeth turned from the fire to face him, "What do you mean Knave?"  
"I mean our spies have informed me that Mirana is sick, and according to the Underland law, an unbanished relative is the only one who may take the throne. This means that we can bring your daughter back, have her take over the throne, and we will be unbanished!" Iracebeth jumped up to hug Stayne.  
"Oh Stayne that is wonderful news! But how do we go about bringing her back?"  
"Demitri gave me a potion that will take me to where she is in Overland and it will create a portal to bring her back here."  
"Well then what are you waiting for? Go! Go bring me my daughter!"

_USA_

Samantha woke up from her nap with a start. Every so often she'd have these odd dreams about a woman with a really large head. Sometimes she'd even see other peculiar characters, like a floating cat, a crazy rabbit, and just other weird things. What was weird was how realistic these dreams felt, she could smell the flowers, feel the cat's fur. She shook off the feeling and went to her closet to get ready. Samantha hadn't had a chance to get her hair re-done yet, so it was growing back in brown creating a contrast with her dyed black hair.  
Digging through her closet, she pulled out a pair of black pants to try on.  
"Ugh, dammit! No more McDonalds for a while!" she groaned as she threw her pants on the other side of the room. Grabbing some size 6 pants, she was able to get those on. Matching that up with a red and black corset style shirt, she checked herself in the mirror. Out of the corner of her eye, she thought she saw someone; but when she turned around there was no one there. She laced up her heeled boots, grabbed her infamous black and red fedora, and headed downstairs to get into the party bus.

Stayne landed on the ground with a loud thump. He didn't know how the potion knew where to dump him, but he assumed it worked. He caught a glimpse of himself in a nearby window and was intrigued. His clothes had been morphed into something more fitting of the time period, his pockets held a wallet with ID and money, and his eye patch was gone, replaced with a glass eye.  
"I look good!" he said to himself.  
"Let's go bitches!" He turned around and saw Samantha jumping into a giant motorized carriage. He recognized her from the hat that Iracebeth had that hatter make. He followed the contraption down the road, trying to come up with a plan to get Samantha back to Underland.

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**A/N: Sorry this took so long, got ideas for other things and had some problems. Hopefully next chapter will be longer. And anything mentioned about AiW characters will be further explained in the coming chapters. In the meantime, if you like SAW, there's some good ones I've done there. **

**Reviews are loved my lovelies.  
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